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Sunday, September 27, 2009

A little self-preservation

Something I often struggle with is that it is nearly impossible to find enough time to recharge my batteries. Trips to the gym, walks with the dog, infrequent girls' nights out--my best efforts usually don't add up to a hill of beans in the self-preservation department. In August, I stumbled across information about a Women's Wellness Weekend that was coming up at one of Virginia's beautiful state parks. The session selections sounded awesome, and I knew I could definitely use a weekend away. It would mean leaving Dave alone with the three wee ones for the weekend, but he was super supportive and told me to go for it. I tried to convince friends and family to join me, but when no one was able to commit, I registered anyway.

I just got home this evening, and it was really an incredible weekend. I took workshops in Kayaking, Fossil Hunting, a crazy session called "Let Your Yoga Dance" (involving scarves, hip-hop music, and some pretty funky moves), and Aromatherapy. Besides the scheduled sessions, we also had a great wine tasting with some experts (and then we all did a good bit of 'homework' on that topic later!). The weekend finished today with an inspirational talk by a woman who had been able to make a major change in her life and was so at peace and happy. Her story brought tears and laughter and I think everyone left there feeling like change should not be so scary. I met a lot of gals from all different walks of life and made connections that I hope to keep up.

Most importantly, I never felt selfish for one moment of the entire weekend, even when I decided to veer 20 miles out of the way on my drive home to visit a state park and walk along the water by myself. I know that I am a better mom and wife when I make myself a priority, but I have often felt bogged down by guilt when I step away to take time apart from my family. It was liberating to go through this weekend with other women who had left husbands, children, pets, and other obligations behind in the spirit of self-preservation. Having people say "You deserve this" or "I remember when my kids were that young--I wish I had gotten away more often" or "Have another glass of wine--no one is depending on you for anything right now!" was affirming.

I've got to find a way to carve out more time for me. Quality time. Not quick trips to Target while the kids are at school, or time wasted on facebook, or time doing things I don't want to do just because I feel like I should. Anyone out there have the magic clock that adds a few hours to the day? Or perhaps the clock could freeze time for everyone but me so that I can go about my 'me' time guilt-free every day?

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