A sad farewell. . .

Tomorrow we will bid farewell to two faithful and patient companions. It is heartbreaking for all of us. Layla came to us in 1998, when Dave & I had been dating for about a year and a half. We found her at the DC animal shelter and something about her ridiculously vicious-looking teeth made us fall in love with her. She had spent her first two years in an apartment in DC where no one bothered to teach her things like "Don't eat shoes, and if you do, please don't pick the most expensive pair" or why someone would be taking her outside on a leash a couple of times a day when the carpet was a nice comfy spot to do her business. The first few months were hard at times, but the past 10 years have been wonderful. Layla drove to Denver with Dave and I the day after our wedding, and hardly complained when we added Wilson to the crew a month later.

Wilson came from a small ranch in rural Colorado. The family who had raised him for his first three years loved him, but he was too timid to work the ranch and was terrified of the horses, so they found him a new home, with us. Our first glimpse of Wilson involved him nervously pacing in and out of the room, hunched over like a hyena. Again, love at first sight. He didn't pee one single drop the first 36 hours we had him, he was so terrified. It took a couple of weeks to convince him to sleep with us, rather than burrowing into the darkest corner of the walk-in closet in our first apartment as newlyweds. Again, the first few months were months of learning, but the past 8 years have been great.

Over the years that Layla and Wilson have been a part of our family, they have truly shared in our joys and sorrows. They offered me comfort after a devastating miscarriage, simply by being present and asking for nothing more than a little eye contact and a spot to snuggle next to me. They welcomed the boys into the family and patiently waited for their turn at having some of our attention. They have greeted us every time we have come home, no matter if we were returning from a week of vacation or from a trip to the mailbox. The boys have never known a home without the presence of these two sweet pups.

Layla developed bladder stones about 3 years ago and had surgery for them in February 2006. We thought that the problem was taken care of, but learned that she had developed more stones, of a different type, and needed another surgery in March 2007. When she began to have accidents in the house again this spring, we took her in and were terriby disappointed to learn that she had more stones. She has been on a prescription diet that was supposed to dissolve her stones in 3-6 months. Although she had been making progress it was very slow. At her check-up last Tuesday, after 7 months on the prescription diet, we learned that she still has 20 bladder stones which are big enough to count, and many many smaller ones. We consulted with the vet about our next treatment options, and the heartbreaking news is that we are out of options. Layla's accidents have become more frequent, and it was time to view them as more than a housecleaning issue. With Dave and I being home during the days, she is able to make many trips outside. Her accidents are a sign of the level of discomfort and pain the stones are causing her. She is 12 years old and has had a long and happy life. Our vet encouraged us to let her go while she still has good days and will be remembered as a happy, old dog.

Wilson was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor last January. Our veterinarian started him on a relatively new protocol of medications including a chemotherapy drug, a steroid, and antibiotics. At that time, she gave us the grim prognosis that Wilson had 3-6 months to live. He has survived and been relatively comfortable for 11 months on the medications. He has outlived every other dog that our veterinarian has tried this medication protocol with. But now, the cancer and the strong medications have taken a toll on him. He sleeps almost round the clock, and he suddenly looks like the tired old pup that he has become. He is 11 years old. We do not want him to suffer and know that he has been living on borrowed time. It is with great pain in our hearts that we will need to release him from his illness now.

The boys are too young to understand much beyond the concept that as of tomorrow afternoon, Layla and Wilson will not be here anymore. Tonight when I went to snuggle with Keller in bed after work, he said that he was thinking about how the dogs won't be there to make the noise of their nails clicking on the floor, or to stand in his way when he's trying to play the Wii. He is realizing that all of these everyday things we take for granted will be gone. Casey said that he has some special medicine at his 'other house' that will make the dogs not be sick anymore. I tried to explain that we have already tried all of the special medicines, and they weren't strong enough to fix what is wrong with Layla and Wilson.

I have been grieving for a week now, since our veterinarian guided us toward this difficult decision. I imagine that the grief will go on for a very long time. The trusting eyes of two very dear souls will close forever tomorrow. It is difficult to balance the joy of bringing Marley home soon with the deep sorrow of losing my first "babies." I grew up with these dogs in a sense. I became a wife, and a mother with their comforting presence always near. I wish they could be here forever. Layla has been with us 10 years, Wilson 8 years. Simply not enough time on earth.

Dave and I will be with the dogs when they ease into their final pain-free rest tomorrow. I can only hope that they will drift off knowing how grateful we are to have had them here for these years, how much they are loved, and how deeply they will be missed.